With about 3 days to go until the great Korean departure, reality has still not hit me. I spent the beginning part of this week in Wisconsin to leave my car with my mom and to say my goodbyes to a few friends and family, but even as I said my final goodbyes, it still hadn't sunk in that I wouldn't see these people for over a year. I'm wondering at what point I will fully realize what I am undertaking? I hope some semblance of reality kicks in soon, though, because I haven't even BEGUN packing...
Anyway, I feel strange and very disconnected from reality right now. I'm really trying to live fully in each second, but everything around me seems so hazy and unreal. Maybe it's a defense mechanism or something, so I don't realize how desperately I'm going to miss some people in my life. There are brief moments when I have complete clarity, and I experience horrible heart-clenching feelings of panic at the thought of being without Nate, but then just as quickly, they disappear. It's weird...
More than anything right now, I'm trying to prepare myself for being in a place where the tiniest comforts of my life will be absent. I worry what kind of effect being in a place where I can't even read street signs will have on me. You really don't think about things like that on a day to day basis, but even when all that gets too overwhelming, how will I order a gin martini to lull the reality of it all? Hopefully, I'll meet some amazing people right away that won't be embarrassed when I have to resort to crude sign language. Yes, these are the deep thoughts that occupy my brain at present. I just keep telling myself that thousands of non-Korean speaking Anglophones go to Korea every year and have fantastic experiences...
Well, that's all I have for right now. The next time I write a new blog, I will be residing in Korea!
XOXO
yay blogging! :o) Safe travels!
ReplyDeleteI look forward to reading your blogs! Best of luck and enjoy every minute! (And yes, you will have some lonely minutes, but that is okay too!)
ReplyDeleteWe'll miss you, Tania
Tiff, all of the feelings you are going through are perfectly natural. And even the lack of feeling or knowing how to feel is normal. I know I felt the same way when I made the permanent move to Ireland - I kept thinking, "when will this sink in and when it does... will I regret my decision?" But just trust your gut. You're an incredible person, taking an incredible journey and I have all the faith in the world that you'll find your peace there :) I'm with you all of the way! LOVE YOU!!!
ReplyDeleteTiffy, from what limited exposure I have to the Korean culture, I can tell you that Koreans are the IRISH of the East. You will be able to order any and every kind of drank under the sun.
ReplyDeleteEmail me if you've any cultural questions. I will talk to Elaine about them and try to get you an answer. I'm so excited for you, update often!!