Walk a mile in my stilettos

Summer is over, and I didn’t write one single blog!  I’ve composed the beginnings of new posts about 20 times but just never got around to putting it on paper.  It’s been an amazing few months and undoubtedly the best summer of my life, minus the torturous humidity and torrential rain.  Fall weather has arrived, and I hope it brings with it continued unforgettable experiences!

One of the greatest things about teaching, which all my teacher friends know, is the enormous amount of vacation we’re given!  Korea has year round school, but we still get a pretty big chunk of time off in the summer.  I got a little over a month which is more time than I’ve had off since I myself was in high school.  So, what wonderful, productive, culturally stimulating adventures did I undertake during this month long vacation you ask?  I. Ate. Peanut Butter.  I realize that this sounds like an asinine statement, but that’s how my latest adventure began.

Peanut butter is one of my favorite foods, but it’s $10 a jar here.  For 6 long months, I would wander passed the foreign food section and gaze longingly at my beloved peanut butter, only to scoff at the price tag and walk away.  One Saturday morning during vacation, however, I could resist no longer. In a moment of weakness, I marched, in my pajamas, to the store, paid the $10 and felt no remorse.  Depriving oneself of such a basic need as peanut butter for this long, however, has very negative repercussions as I learned on this fateful Saturday.  I barely had both feet through the door, and the jar was open.  I couldn’t even be bothered with bread, just a spoon.  10 minutes later, half the jar was gone.  Suddenly, every bad after-school special and Lifetime original movie I had ever seen about overweight teens and desperate, lonely women flashed before my eyes.  The peanut butter sat on my table, mocking me with its creamy goodness.  I had to escape its seductive siren song before the entire jar was gone!!!  So, I put on a dress, strapped on my heels, and took a walk…

In my very first blog entry, I made a promise to myself to not take advantage of one single second of my brief time here.  The best way to see any city is to take lots of walks, and up until now, I hadn’t walked any further than the subway station.  On this day, I fulfilled my promise to myself, and fell madly in love with Seoul all over again.  

One of the most amazing things about this city is that ancient meets modern everywhere you look.  Nowhere is this more evident than in Gangnam where I am fortunate enough to live.  I walked for miles and miles in every direction.  I walked down Teheran-ro to take in the massive glossy skyscrapers offset by the natural beauty of the trees that line the streets.  In the distance, I took in the imposing mountains that surround the city.  I walked to Gangnam station where hordes of people in business attire gathered around street food stalls slurping ddeokbokki sauce. I took in the Seoul skyline behind 16^th century burial tombs.  A little ways off the main street, I discovered an entire street of local farmers selling fresh vegetables and fruits.  Turning down this street felt like entering an entirely different world.  This is the Korea that exists outside of Seoul—poor farmers with no teeth selling produce out of the back of a rickety wagon, men with moving racks of dead chickens swinging on hooks,  lots of noise, lots of movement, lots of yelling.  At this point, I had to stop and reconcile in my mind the fact that these two worlds existed in such close proximity to each other and so near my very own apartment. 

Back on the main street, I went a different direction.  For hours, I continued, and was struck by how drastically the scenery and the feel of the city changed with each new neighborhood I passed through.  Hours later, it was dark.  I returned home and it occurred to me that I will most likely never live in a place this dynamic again.  For the remainder of my vacation, I went on incredibly long walks every day.  The nature of this city is such that it’s so easy to feel like you’re a part of something very exciting even if you’re by yourself.  This is a place to see and be seen.  People stare at me.  I stare back unabashedly.  There are coffee shops and markets every few steps, and in the summer, all of these places have outdoor seating, even convenience stores—perfect people watching on the cheap.  The best part is that all of this is literally right outside my door.  No car required, just legs.  After realizing that there was so much left to see here, it started feeling like every second was slipping away too fast.  Now it’s Fall, my favorite time of year, and perfect walking weather.  It’s bittersweet though, because I feel like my best days in Korea are numbered, but I’m so grateful for the many hours I spent taking it all in.  I guess I have the peanut butter to thank J

So what could possibly make my time here any better?  I have it all!  I love my friends, I love my job, I have no stress, I live in the best neighborhood in one of the coolest cities on the planet, and I have my youth that allows me to take it in on foot for hours on end.  Just when I thought my cup runneth over, enter Nate.

I’ll admit, I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect of Nate’s time here.  I knew, of course, that regardless of what we did I’d be overjoyed to be with him, but I wasn’t sure how he’d adapt to life in Korea.  This was Nate’s first ever trip out of the U.S., and Korea, in my opinion, is a pretty big leap.  Nate does not do well with crowds, bustling cities, apartment living, and the general hustle and bustle of city life.  He hates airports, feeling rushed, and all the other obstacles that come with travel.  He prefers the quiet of the woods, the company of woodland creatures and his fishing pole.  To say Nate surprised me would be an understatement, and being surprised by someone you love and have been in a relationship with for a long time is an absolutely amazing experience.  We did everything while he was here.  We went to palaces, ate every traditional Korean dish imaginable, we saw the historic Hanok village, had a late night picnic at the Banpo rainbow bridge, drank copious amounts of Makkoli, ate street food, went to noraebang (karaoke), biked for miles in the park along the Han river etc. etc.  Nate not only liked it here, he completely adapted to life here in an incredibly short amount of time.  He even learned enough Korean to order in a restaurant on his own.  I thought this was amazing.  So, what could have made my life in Korea any better?  Doing all the things I love with the person I love most, who also happens to be my best friend AND fiancé.  Lucky, lucky me! Having the opportunity to share my newly acquired knowledge and my daily routine with someone so receptive is truly an unparalleled experience.  I can say without reservation that his time here was the best 10 days of my life thus far.  Until now, I’ve always kept my love for travel entirely for myself, but now, when I think of the future, I can’t wait to discover new favorite places and see the world with Nate.

When he left, I felt an emptiness like nothing I’ve ever experienced.  At first, I thought I was just sad that he was gone, but I quickly realized that it was more than that.  For a very brief moment in life, I had absolutely everything and more happiness than I had ever experienced, and when he left, the city felt haunted in his absence.  I still love it here, but after sharing everything with Nate, being on my own doesn’t have the same appeal as before.  So now I’m torn, which is a good thing I guess.  I love it here and part of me wants to stay forever, but I’m so excited to start my next adventure back home.  It’s a great feeling, really, to be content in the here and now and excited about the future as well. 

5 months remain in my Asian adventure, and I hope to get as much out of my remaining time as I possibly can.  More to come…

Things I've learned, things I love and things I miss.

I know, I know, it’s been WAAAAY too long since my last blog post, and once again, I have no idea where to begin. 

In May, my mom came to visit me.  It was so nice having her here.  She came at the perfect time in the sense that, the whole ‘stage 1,’ or ‘honeymoon phase’ culture shock had begun to subside.  This was the first time I had done any touristy things here in Seoul, and it gave me an entirely new appreciation for this city that I have come to call home.  We went to parks, tombs, went to palaces, ate traditional Korean food, took a riverboat cruise on the Han River, saw the city from North Seoul Tower, shopped at Insa-dong, and had great conversations at the numerous coffee shops that are mere steps from my apartment.  Point being, she came at the perfect time for me to rediscover this amazing city right as homesickness was starting to set in.  This was also the trip of a lifetime for her.  I don’t think at any point in her life she imagined that she would be visiting her daughter in Asia, literally the opposite side of the world.  We also went to China!

So, China.  Where to begin…  China was an experience to be sure.  Parts of it were amazing.  I actually walked the Great Wall, stood in the middle of Tiananmen Square, ate Peking duck, rode through the streets on a pedal cab, shopped on Wangfujing street, toured the Forbidden City, and ended each day over a glass of wine at our fabulous and ultra-modern hotel.  All with my mother, the number one greatest, most important and positive influence in my life.  China was an experience that I will tell my grandchildren, should they ever exist. Yet, my travels in China made me so appreciative of my life in Korea.  I won’t get too much into my negative experiences in China, other than to say that Korean people are so much more helpful, the food is substantially better, and I am eternally grateful that I chose to spend my year here instead of Beijing.  Coming home to Korea felt just like that—coming home. 

I have grown to love Korea on a much deeper level than when I initially came.  At first, I was the epitome of a culture-shocked American.  I was completely infatuated.  I realize now, however, that I was infatuated with the wrong things, mostly, fulfilling my need to be away; far away from my mundane Shoreview, Minnesota life.   I was meeting all these new people that had perspectives so similar to my own which was something that was entirely absent from my life in Minnesota, the city was constantly bustling—bright lights and action at every turn, being surrounded by people that were looking for the same fulfillment as I, clubs, parties, cheap alcohol, a  19 year olds dream!

And then I realized, I’m not 19—I’m 29.  I came here to find answers and clarity that I simply couldn’t find in my current situation, and luckily, I have found it.  Somewhere in my soju- and club-induced haze, I have begun to find the clarity I initially set out to find. 

So, what is this great clarity, you ask?  Well, like most revelations, it’s pretty simple.

1.       Love your friends.  Your truly great love-you-no-matter-what friends. 

In my first blog, I talked of all my new friends.  Yes, I am still friends with all of these people, but throughout the course of my time here, I’ve re-evaluated what makes a truly great friend.  I am so lucky to say that in my time here thus far, I have made two life-long friends.  That may not sound like much, and I’ve spent much time wondering if I shouldn’t be investing more of myself in more people, but in my conversations with these two individuals, I realize that two friends is huge.  When I look at my life, all the true friends I’ve made along the way, there are maybe 7 or 8, and in my journey here, I have added two to the mix.  Being here has made me question myself constantly. Who am I?  What do I really stand for and believe?  And these two people have helped that along and nurtured that part of me in a way that only they can.  Each of my true friends has played a huge roll in who I’ve become, and now I question that person: I’m not that nice, I’m honest to a fault, I’m obsessive, I love to talk about myself, I interrupt, I have a mean-streak, I thrive on jealousy, I’m vain, I love material things and yet, I somehow manage to have a bit of a superiority complex.   My Seoul friends, however, know this about me, and love me anyway.   Perhaps it’s that they are in the same limbo, questioning themselves and their actions as well, and they have listened, and supported, and dealt with my numerous neuroses.  And they had shown true love for me, even when I am entirely unlovable, and I realize now how rare that is.  All I can say is that I’m grateful and very, very lucky. 

2.      Make new friends, but keep the old. 

It’s funny.  When I lived in Paris, I came back knowing clearly the first people I wanted to see.  Why?  Because they were the people that read my emails, responded, and gave me support.  They answered my phone calls and were excited that I had called them.  I miss my old true-blue friends.  I miss them desperately and think of them daily—far more than when I lived in the U.S.  Most of these friends are people I’ve known for many years, and now I realize that I would not be who I am today without them.  I’m not entirely sure that the person I am today is all that great, but I do realize that without their influence, I wouldn’t have the ability to question my motives or ideas without their guidance.  I have begun to wonder why anyone would want to be my friend, but in lieu of questioning it, I’ve become eternally grateful.  Bottom line is that I have a much deeper appreciation for all that I have taken for granted throughout the years.

So now, on to things I’ve learned.   These things are Korea specific, but they have helped my life here greatly.  I am currently in stage 2/stage 3 culture shock.  This is the point when all the new and great things start to wane, and daily life as a Korean expat start to grate on you. 

1.       Shove or be shoved.

 Koreans have a ‘hurry’ mentality.  Don’t get in their way, because they will literally shove you out of it.  This is something that has been a constant annoyance to me.  They will not apologize, they won’t even give you a second glance, just be prepared, in any situation to be pushed. 

2.       Toilet paper is a privilege, not a right. 

Koreans love toilets and pooping.  I know, this is super weird, but Koreans have tributes to poop and toilets everywhere.  There’s even this weird cultural thing called ddonjjeep (not sure of the spelling there) where if you expose your backside to a Korean, they will make a two-handed gun shape with their hands and shove it into your butthole.  I know, this is beyond weird, but it’s, like, this Korean thing.  I think it’s maybe a tribute to toilets and the amazing amount of  progress Korea has made in the past 20 years, but it’s kind of weird.  Point is, they are very proud of the bathroom revolutions they have made in modern times.  So, there are many public toilets throughout the city.  BUT, toilet paper is not common.  Korea has these amazing bathrooms—the toilet seats are heated, and there always seems to be a control panel next to every toilet with aromatherapy options and bedet-like functions, but the basic necessity of toilet paper is rare.  There have been numerous times that I have gone to a bathroom, caught up in this spa-like experience, only to discover at the end that there is no toilet paper.  As a result, I have begun to horde restaurant napkins, kleenex¸ and even receipts to keep in my purse for emergencies. 

3.      One of the world’s cleanest cities has no waste receptacles.

This continues to be one of the banes of my Korean existence.  There are no garbage cans here!  It’s maddening!  In a city so convenient, where you’re never more than steps from a 7-11 or a GS25, you can never find a place to throw you trash.  It makes me crazy!  Seoul has got to be one of the most litter-free cities on Earth, yet there is nowhere to dispose of your garbage.  Seriously.  Every subway station has a myriad of places to buy soda, snacks, you name it, but no place to throw anything away.  One would think that a city set up like this would be full of litter-strewn streets, but it’s not!  As a result, at the end of every day, I come home with a purse full of garbage.  I try to be conscientious of this, but in the U.S., I would be a minority with this mentality.  But I guess that Seoullites are generally concerned about the beauty of their city, because the streets are impeccably clean.  Craziness…

4.       Koreans hate to think.  If you look at test scores from every country around the world, Korean students consistently fare extremely well.  As I’ve mentioned in previous blogs, these kids work like crazy to get the best test scores, and they are usually successful.  What I’ve come to realize, however, is that when it comes to forming an opinion, or making an argument based on facts, they cannot and will not give an answer.  For example, for my most recent speaking test, I had my students do a debate.   As practice, I gave them a topic, and asked for a ‘pro’ and a ‘con’ argument.  I did this with my level ‘A’ students—students who speak English at a near flawless level.  Normally, any time I begin a class and ask for volunteers, I have to wrangle them back into focus because so many of them know the answer and want to prove it to me.  With this topic, however, I was met with resounding silence.  When it comes to forming an opinion and supporting it, they just can’t or maybe won’t do it.  They would rather I give them lines to write than have to think about anything.  It’s such a different intelligence than what we are accustomed to learning in the U.S.  and a constant source of aggravation for me.  As a result, I try and get them to think critically at least once during my lessons to try and begin the process of expanding their way of thinking.

5.      Expand their way of thinking?  Really?  Do I care?   The short answer to this is YES.  I can honestly say that at no point in my decision to come here did I think for one second about the lives I would be impacting.  Teaching was just a way to earn the required money to travel for a year.  Surprisingly, however, my students have begun to play a huge roll in my happiness here.  There are days when I hate Korea—granted, they are few and far between—but they do exist.  And I’ve come to realize that what puts a smile on my face time and again are my kids.  Now that they’ve overcome their shyness, I’ve begun to see how smart and funny these girls are.  There isn’t a day that goes by that one of them doesn’t make some observation or say something that sends me into fits of laughter.  I’m really lucky in this regard as I teach at a really privileged school, so I’m not dealing with a lot of unfortunate kids like some of my friends here.  These are generally happy, sunshiney kids who’s intelligence and wit never ceases to amaze me.  They also do a graceful job of walking the line between gently teasing me and being very respectful.  I can’t explain it, but I know without a doubt that my methods would not be effective on American students. 

What I love.

There are a number of things about life in Korea that I love. For starters, this has got to be one of the most convenient places I’ve ever seen.

1.       You are never far from a convenience store, coffee shop, or cosmetics store.  Seriously.  Sitting in my apartment, I can think of no less than 20 coffee shops, 15 convenience stores, and 5 cosmetics shops within a 1-5 minute walk from my apartment.  Convenience stores are open 24/7.  Need a late night soju fix?  No problem.  Walk 10 feet, buy said $1 soju, head back home.  Walking down the street and realize your face is shiney?  No worries, stop at the Missha, Aritaum, SkinFood, Tony Moly, Saem, Face Shop, etc. etc. and pick up whatever you need.  Also, the beauty products here are AMAZING and incredibly cheap.  And I cannot stress enough how much they are EVERYWHERE. 

2.      As a result of all these beauty stores, one is expected to look their most beautiful at all times.  Yes, this is under the ‘things I love category.’  Koreans are obsessed with physical beauty.  This is both an annoyance, and something I’ve come to really appreciate.  It’s an annoyance because with the concept of beauty comes the concept of never being good enough.  I hate this for my students.  Plastic surgery is so unbelievably commonplace it’s mind-blowing.  On every corner and at every subway stop are ads for plastic surgery.  Literally, everyone gets some form of cosmetic procedure done here if they have the means.  Most people do have the means as cosmetic surgery is very cheap.  Many of my students talk about plastic surgery as a path to their future success, and this kills me to hear.  In America, we whine about the constant role the media plays in making us feel inferior to impossible beauty standards.  In Korea, this exists as well, but attached to every beauty commercial is one for plastic surgery.  It’s unreal.   Clearly, this is not the part I love.  What I do love, however, is that Koreans respect their physical selves.  People dress up here.  Always.  This is something that I really respect and have come to embrace.  There aren’t hordes of dumpy, overweight people walking the streets.  People dress nicely and take care of themselves.  I really respect this and enjoy getting dressed up to go to E-Mart to buy my weekly groceries, or to stop and grab a coffee.  It’s really nice to enjoy the aesthetics of seas of people who respect their bodies and appearance.  Judge this if you will, but it’s something I really appreciate about Korean culture. 

3.      Shoe repair.  In a mass-transit and walking-based city filled with people that wear dresses, suits and high-heels at all times, shoe repair is a necessity.  In America, if something happens with one of your shoes—like, you need to get your tips redone on your heels—you have to round up your shoes, and take them to a shoe repair place, and wait 3 days to a week to get them back.  Here in Seoul, if you’re walking down the street and find yourself with a ‘tap shoe’ (i.e.  the rubber bottom came off your heel)  keep walking a few steps, and you will find a street-side shoe repairman.  In my neighborhood, there are 5 within a 5 minute walking distance.  They will fix your shoes while you wait.  It takes about 3 minutes and costs around $2.  I love it!   

So, in this blissful utopia called Seoul, what could I possibly miss?  In any given day, I waiver between panic that my time here ticks by day in and day out, and wanting to come home.  Maybe it’s part of culture shock, but there are definitely things that I miss. 

1.       English.  I’m a talker.  Anyone that knows me knows this is true, and it’s very isolating to not know the language here.  During my work day, I’m surrounded with my co-teachers that speak entirely in Korean.  I go to lunch, and hear more Korean.  I would be fine in an observatory role for a change, but I can’t observe what I don’t understand.  It’s constant.  Even something as basic as going to the grocery store is a battle.  I’ve become amazing at mime-like sign language in order to fulfill the basic needs of my day.  It’s truly exhausting sometimes.  I really miss being understood, and I really miss having a personality in day to day situations.  My only personality here to the average stranger is that of waygook, or foreigner.  I’m forced to deal with the stares, the judgments, and anything else that people want to think about me with absolutely no recourse.  It really goes against the grain for me, and is a constant struggle.  I’ve begun taking  Korean classes which are going amazingly well.  I’m in a very accelerated course, so hopefully I will make great strides in this area in the near future, but for now, my fate is sealed. 

2.      Soju.  Yes, soju is a Korean liquor that is at my disposal ‘round the clock.  However, I had to say goodbye to my dearest Korean friend.  I couldn’t figure out where my unexplained weight gain was coming from.  I gained around 8 unexplained pounds on a diet consisting primarily of vegetables.  So, I googled calories in soju and discovered that one, small, innocuous bottle contains 540 calories.  During a night drinking with friends, I would normally drink between 2 and 3 bottles of soju, not to mention all of the food that comes along with a bottle in a restaurant.  Needless to say, I was consuming around 1,000-1,500 extra calories a day.  So, I had to put my dear friend to rest.   Sigh…

3.      Nate.  This shouldn’t come as any surprise.  I really miss Nate.  Much, much more than I could have ever prepared myself for.  In some ways, this has been great for our relationship.  I don’t think that as long as I live I will ever take any part of him for granted again, but that doesn’t change the here and now.  I miss him constantly.  It’s a perpetual ache that haunts everything I do.  In a way, this has been a good thing.  I realize that can’t and won’t live my life without him, hence, the engagement.  I know that people want a great story to accompany this revelation, but that’s really all there is.

4.      Life in America.  I desperately miss all the things I’m missing out on day to day.  It’s summer now, and all I can think of is 4^th of July fireworks, parades, barbecues.  Camping, sing alongs by a campfire, mini-golf, Nate, Nate, Nate.  Movie nights, patio happy hours, driving, Lake Calhoun, Strawberry Fest, Summerfest.  It’s hard sometimes. 

But at the end of the day, I love it here.  I know how much I will miss this place when I’m gone.  So, I try and overlook the not-s0-great and truly revel in my joyous experiences and friends here, because I know that I have the rest of my life to miss them.  I love Korea.   I love America. I’m really, really happy.  J

An ode to Seoul nightlife

After reliving yet another incredible weekend via friends’ facebook pictures, I realized that I have completely neglected to blog about the silent disco, or any of the details of how I spend my weekends for that matter.  So, with that in mind, I dedicate blog #7 to the joys of Seoul nightlife!

My timing on this subject is interesting, given that I just recovered from my first bout of Korean food poisoning.  Honestly, it was bound to happen—when you combine cheap packaged chicken with a society that shies away from preservatives, it’s only a matter of time until that $1.00 6:00 AM post nightclub chicken burger comes back to haunt you.  After two days of chills, sweats, delirious dreams, and vomit, all I can say is this—thank God it was food and not the Soju that made me sick.  It would be devastating to have to swear off Korean nectar and ambrosia due to taste aversion. 

Today is Tuesday, however, and I have made a nearly full recovery and am already beginning to plan next weekend’s escapades.  Something that I’ve noticed about myself since being here is that I truly seem to have begun reversing in the maturity cycle.  I’m at the age when people have generally grown tired of the party scene, but I’m partying more than I ever have in my entire life.  Granted, I never was much of a partier and I definitely avoided the club scene, but it’s quite a bit different here.  I have a theory that soju is actually a genetic splice between water from the fountain of youth and the world’s greatest mood elevator.  Honestly, I have been out until at least 5:00 AM every Saturday since I’ve been here.  It’s absolutely fantastic, although the fact that I don’t get hung over probably gives me a slightly different perspective on all this than most.

Anyway, one of the coolest nighttime activities that I’ve discovered since coming here is the silent disco.  My first encounter with this was on one of my earliest ventures into Hongdae when I was still in training.  A bunch of my friends and I were walking down this crazy, brightly lit neon street that had this palpable energy of excitement, which I’ve come to realize comes with the territory in this neighborhood. We stopped outside a convenience store—undoubtedly to grab some soju for the road—and notice this park crammed with people dancing like crazy, but there isn’t any music playing.  So, we stop and watch for awhile and notice that they’re all wearing headphones with helium balloons coming off the top of them.  In the center of the crowd is a DJ spinning and TV screens all around with snapshots of people in the crowd in a slideshow. Clearly, this was quite a sight unlike any I had ever seen before.  We asked someone what was going on and they explained that this was a silent disco!  At the time, we didn’t check it out too much because we had to get back by curfew, but a few weeks later, we decided to try it for ourselves.  So, how it works is that you pay the equivalent of $1.00 for a pair of headphones, and you rock out to this unbelievable DJ spinning house music!  It is the craziest experience and has fast become one of the most popular Saturday night destinations for my friends and me.  It’s a great place to start out the night because clearly, no one is monitoring what you do, so you stop over at the convenience store, grab some soju, and dance like crazy!  The time seriously flies by, and it’s this awesome combination of people watching, drinking, dancing, and the outdoors.  It’s also the perfect meeting place when you’re trying to organize an outing with 10+ people since there’s no way to get confused about where the night is starting.  

The pattern for the last few weekends has been to stay at the silent disco until around 1:00 or 2:00, then head to a club.  Now, I need to pause for a moment to acknowledge the fact that I never in a million years would have thought that I would even get dragged into a club here much less sing its praises in a blog.  I loathe clubs in the U.S., in fact, I will drag my feet the whole way if my friends even make me enter a bar that has a dance floor.  Maybe I’m jaded, but the clubs I’ve been to in the U.S. are gross!  It strikes me as this huge meat market where some drunk or high dude with no rhythm comes and accosts me with his gyrating hips and sweats his designer imposter cologne all over my couture.  Ick! And then if, God forbid! I want to sit on the sidelines and drown my boredom in a solo cocktail, some other nasty dude comes over and tries to spin his ‘sweet lines’ on me.  Again, ICK!  Never mind the fact that you can protest until you’re blue in the face and repeatedly talk about how amazing your boyfriend is (which I do) they don’t get it because, again, they’re drunk and/or high and therefore deaf I guess. 

Anyway, clubs here are NOTHING like that!  I don’t know if it’s the culture or the fact that I usually travel as part of a pack, but people here genuinely just seem to love the energy and the dancing.  I have been to numerous clubs, and no one has so much has uttered a word to me or even gyrated in my general direction.  It’s just, this crazy dance party with great music where confetti bursts out of the ceiling at random and everyone cheers!  Point being, clubs here are actually fun!  I think for me, though, the best part of clubs is watching my friends who are the reason I got dragged (initially anyway) to a club in the first place. 

In one of my earlier blogs, I talked about Andryos a.k.a Jersey, and he is unquestionably the number 1 club-goer.  The guy is a party animal, seriously.  It’s hilarious because he always has on some skin tight graphic tee, and as soon as he has one foot in the door, that fist goes up and it gets pumpin’, straight Jersey shore style.  He is always the first person up on the stage or the pole and he does not leave his perch until they kick us out.  The funniest part though, is that he gets more attention from the men than the women I think.  There are always a large group of guys surrounding him that become his own personal fan club.  Everyone wants their pictures with him and they stand on the ground and cheer for him up on stage—maybe they think he really is a Jersey shore cast member, who knows? 

KK, my Kenyan friend, is a close second on the party animal front.  This guy LOVES house music, and I seriously don’t think I have ever witnessed someone get so much joy out of dancing.  I never really see him dance with anyone, but the minute we walk in, he gets the biggest smile on his face that doesn’t go away all night.  He’s also got this really bouncy way of dancing.  If there’s any point in the night that we get separated, I just look for Jersey on stage, and the bouncing dark-skinned head in the crowd to find KK. 

I myself don’t have too much stamina for dancing.  Besides, my friends’ skills provide hours of entertainment ;-)  I prefer to play the role as wing woman, more for my girl friends then my guy friends.  Korean men are really shy, so my friends usually scope the crowd for someone that looks interesting, and then my role is to help them not-so-gracefully bump into them.  Truthfully, our game needs a little fine tuning, but my friends seem to have lots of fun practicing.    

So this concludes my ode to the Seoul club scene.  More Korean hijinks to come…

Daily life...

After a little more than a month, it has finally begun to hit me that I'm officially a resident of Seoul, South Korea.  Although this is my reality, I still get a thrill of excitement at the thought that I'm actually here.  As time goes on and I become more settled, I find myself noticing some pretty interesting things about being here.

First of all, I am absolutely loving teaching.  As much I would like to say that this is due to my altruistic love of enriching the lives of children and shaping the youth of Korea, I'd be lying if I said either of those things.  I like my kids, don't get me wrong.  They're incredibly entertaining and very different from kids in America.  The level of respect shown to teachers in this country still takes me aback, and the attitudes and levels of maturity are on a completely different plane than in America.  All these things are great, but honestly, what I'm loving is the complete absence of stress from my life since I took this position.  For starters, I teach 24 hours a week which boils down to 4 classes one day, and 5 classes every other day which means on any given 8 hour day, I have 3 or 4 free hours.  I'm coming from a work schedule that generally had me working a minimum of a 40 hour work week, plus a second bartending job on the side, so the 24 hour work weeks feel like a permanent vacation.  Furthermore, I'm only supposed to work 22 hours, so I get 2 hours of overtime a week on top of it all.  My teachers are constantly asking me if I'm doing OK, or if 'all this work' is too much for me, to which I have a hard time responding with a straight face.  What's more, the Korean culture not only allows you to sleep at work, they encourage it.  Some schools even have a teacher nap room--mine doesn't, but I do have my own classroom where I can turn off the lights and sleep in a quiet dark room.  Point being, my days consist of some teaching, a fantastic Korean lunch, and at least a 1 hour nap.  Because I have so much free time every day, I never need to worry about lesson planning after school, so I'm literally working and then coming home.  At 4:30, the day is over.

On one of these many stress-free work days, I tried to determine when the last time I've been so completely calm was, and I decided that this is the first time in my life.  I've been worried about getting good grades from about 1st grade all the way through college--stressed out and sleep-deprived--then was worried about if I would get a job, then I got a sales job which was incredibly stressful as I was constantly worried about making quota or dealing with beaurocratic crap, or I was in the service industry, where I was constantly scrambling to get enough shifts.  So, yes.  Finally, at 29 years old, I feel like I can breathe easy.  It's pretty amazing.  While I would normally say that this is probably doing wonders for reversing the aging process, I'm pretty sure the soju is counteracting any of the good benefits of this lack of stress.  However, the constant flow of endorphins makes it all worthwhile :-).

So, while this is all wonderful, it's not all rainbows and butterflies.  Now that I'm in a routine and have some down time during the week, it gives me a lot more time to miss Nate and other people and comforts of home, although Skype is pretty much amazing. What's great though, is that I'm a 5 minute subway ride from a few of my friends, and since I live in Seoul, there's always something to do!  So, when the loneliness kicks in, it doesn't stick around for too long.  Admittedly, without my friends, this experience would be nothing.  The people I've met here continue to amaze me, and sometimes I have to actually look at a calendar to prove to myself the short time I've known them.  Being in a foreign environment and not knowing the language and teaching for the first time, it's all very humbling.  I think all these factors combined with some generally amazing people has put our friendships into hyper-speed.  I feel like the level of friendship I have with a few of my friends would take years in a normal American situation.  It's quite an incredible feeling and difficult to describe, but it's certainly one of the coolest aspects of being here.

Anyway, daily Korean life.  Let's see... at first, it was really flattering being treated like a movie star.  People stop what they're doing to stare at me everywhere--whether on the street or the subway or a restaurant, and my school is no exception.  It's been a month, and the girls still SQUEAL and jump up and down and whisper to each other every time they see me.  As I said though, while initially flattering, it's getting old.  Any day that I walk to lunch or the bathroom, girls will follow me and say "Tee puh nee? Tee puh nee teacher?  Teacher?  Teacher?  Tee puh nee? " until I finally turn around, to which their reaction is to scream and jump up and down and run away.  It sounds cute, but try dealing with it 15 times a day.  Or, they'll actually muster the courage to say "Hi-ee"  and if I say "Hi" back, again, they utter an ear-splitting squeal and run away.  Also, any time in class I ask if there's any questions, inevitably, at least one student asks me something completely unrelated to class, such as  how I get my hair to look the way it does or why my eyes are a weird color or if my earrings are really Chanel.  It's actually kind of off-putting because I'll be talking about verb tenses, and it always throws me off. Needless to say, they are rapidly overcoming their shyness.  Be careful what you wish for I guess.

In other news, I finally mustered the courage (and the vocabulary) to venture to places on my own that require me to speak Korean, namely restaurants.  It wouldn't seem like that big a deal, since you would think you could just point to an item, but it's not that simple since I don't eat pork or beef.  I have to actually special order things, but first, to avoid confusion, I have to enquire as to whether or not the items I want contain said meat products.  It's nothing fancy, but last week, I tried it out for the first time, and it went perfectly!  No confused stares, comprehensible responses to my questions--it's pretty satisfying to know that the few bits of vocab and sentence structure I've learned actually work.  It's now to a point that I find myself wanting to go to restaurants just to try out new things, even when I have no desire to eat.  Hopefully I'll get over that before my pants don't fit any more...  What's funny though, is that my friend, Alicia, is adopted Korean.  She's actually taken Korean lessons and makes a huge effort to use the language, but where I get stared at, she gets glared at.  It's like, people are mad that she looks Korean but doesn't know the language.  Or maybe they think she's dumb?  Anyway, it seems like there's always some confusion when she tries to order for us, but they try so much harder to understand me because I'm clearly Western.  It's kind of a weird cultural thing I guess.  Another great tool when trying out your newly-acquired Korean skills is Konglish.  Yes, Konglish.  This is when you say English words the way a Korean would read them.  So, for instance, I have a hard time pronouncing the Korean work for chicken, but if I say "chee-kuhn" they get it.  I have a hard time using it because I laugh at how stupid I sound, but it has helped me in some tough situations.  Also, my chopstick skills are amazing, and I wake up every day craving kimchee.  I think I'm slowly becoming a real Korean ;-)

So, those are my observations for the time being.  I'm heading to China the first weekend in May, and I can't wait!  It's unbelievable that an exotic place like China isn't any bigger of a deal than a trip to Chicago in the states.  I'm sure I'll have lots of new things to report after that!  Take care, everyone.

XOXO

Tiffany

Pictures of my new home!

Buddhist temple at the entrance to the campus

Entrance to the high school

Standing on campus facing the school playground in the distance

Office I share with 5 other English teachers

My English classroom :-)

Weeknight night life in my neighborhood--it's always bustling!

Street food stalls lined up on my street

Close up of a street food stall.  Everyone huddles in and eats there.  Best and cheapest food ever!

My bathroom.  The shower isn't separate, so everything gets wet.  Makes cleaning super easy though.  P.S.  Ugliest toilet seat EVER.

Kitchen

Different angles from my tiny yet fabulous apartment :-)

Sweet Buddha, I'm a teacher!

Among all the excitement of being in a foreign country and meeting so many incredible new people, it is easy to lose sight of what I officially came here to do—teach English! My first day of teaching was last Thursday, and thus far, it’s been an adventure!

To back up a bit, the last few days of my orientation were pretty rough. We learned a lot about Korean culture, and one of the key elements was that things change very last minute and we are just expected to “roll with the punches” as they say. To illustrate this point, some pretty upsetting things occurred the last few days of training. First, my good friend here got kicked out for failing the drug test. I realize that’s a pretty serious offense, but the treatment she received was pretty brutal. On that same day, 7 people from my training class were told that they got moved out of Seoul and into the middle of the countryside. Needless to say, we were all very apprehensive about where we would be placed, so the atmosphere was really tense over the last few days of training.

I, however, got extremely lucky! I am currently residing in Gangnam, which is definitely one of the best possible areas to be! It is south of the river and is basically the haute couture part of Seoul. This is where people come to buy their Dior and Gucci and drive fancy cars. It’s also the place to come for the best clubs and bars. This is what I’ve been told anyway. I’m one of few people in the entire program that got placed within central Seoul, so this makes my placement even luckier! The only downside of living in this area is that everything is more expensive. Food and such are still cheap, but not as cheap as in other areas. My apartment is really small (about twice the size of my Paris apartment for those of you that saw it), but I can walk to my school in less than 5 minutes, and I am in the thick of all the action. Everyone else I’ve talked to has a pretty substantial commute—one girl even travels an hour and a half every day—so again, I’m very lucky. I am, however, under a constant microscope. As a foreigner, I get gawked at everywhere I go, and Koreans are not at all shy about staring. Because I’m so close to my school, I see my students outside of class constantly, so I need to be on my best behavior at all times i.e. no getting blasted on Soju and stumbling home. But not to worry—on those nights, I just stay with friends :-)

So, teaching! Wow! It’s been craziness. I’m teaching Freshmen at an all girls private Buddhist high school. It’s so different from anything in the states for sure. There’s a huge temple at the entrance to the school, which is the first thing I saw last Wednesday when I went to meet my new colleagues. The position itself is quite different from what we were prepared for, but then again, I seem to be the exception to every rule thus far. In training, we were taught how to co-teach with a native Korean English teacher, meaning that we aren’t entirely responsible for the class, and we are certainly never teaching alone. How large a role we play in the classroom is left entirely up to the Korean co teacher. I, however, do not have a co-teacher. I am entirely responsible for my class and represent 15% of their total English grade. As someone who has never taught before, this came as a bit of a shock, especially when they told me Wednesday evening (the day I arrived at my school) that I would be teaching a full day on Thursday. Every other person I talked to didn’t even begin co teaching until Monday. By this point, I had already taught 10 classes. I am also the only teacher in the entire school that has their own classroom. In Korean schools, teachers move to the various rooms while the students stay, but I have my own room which is connected to my office, and the students come to me. So, yes, I seem to have gotten the cushiest native English speaking position in all of Seoul, but also the most responsibility.

Teaching itself has been pretty good. I’m actually pretty impressed with how well my classes are going, although admittedly, we’re only doing introductions for my first 5 days which isn’t really teaching. The classes that I have are divided into beginner and advanced. Normally, all the classes are blended and you have to employ different teaching techniques to be able to teach all the levels together, but I only teach one at a time (again, cushy). Thus far, I’ve only taught beginner classes, but I only have each class once a week, so I only need to plan two lessons for each week, a beginner, and an advanced. Because each class has 20 students and I teach 5 classes a day, I am responsible for roughly 500 students. I find this number overwhelming, especially given that I need to learn their names—Korean names—which are incredibly long and difficult to pronounce.

The biggest challenge in my classes is that culturally, the ideal female student is expected to be silent. Apparently, I have a class of perfect Korean girls, because they do not talk. At all. Clearly this is an issue in a class entitled “English Conversation” where my sole duty is to get these girls talking. Last week, I saw 200 terrified faces staring at me, silently pleading with me not to make them speak. Seriously, these girls are terrified to speak in front of me. I’m hoping my advanced students are more talkative, but it has not been easy. I made two girls cry last week. As an introductory activity, I had the students create nametags and illustrate them with things they like to do. To prepare them, we drilled and practiced saying “My name is ________” and “I like __________” We went over all the different vocabulary and I had them pair up and practice before they made their nametags. Then, all they had to do was introduce themselves to the rest of the class using these two expressions. One girl had tears falling out of her eyes and was shaking so hard I could hardly understand her when it was her turn. Another girl came up to me, bowing profusely, begging me not to make her do the activity. Needless to say, it’s pretty rough. I really want my class to be one that they look forward to attending, not the one they dread all week. The expectations for these girls are really high—they attend classes 6 days a week, they attend school from 7:00 AM until 4:30 PM, then they attend private academies from 6:00 PM-11:00 PM EVERY DAY. This doesn’t even take into account the obscene amount of homework that they are given daily. High school is also the time when they prepare for their exams, and the pressure on them to do well is unreal. It’s insane. Point being, I want my class to be one hour a week where they can relax and have fun, not cry. Hopefully they’ll relax a little as time goes on.

My colleagues have been fantastic. It’s obvious that they want me to be happy. I office with 5 other English teachers, and any time I ask a question to the room at large, all 5 of them will converge and start talking in rapid Korean, and then give me the most thorough answer possible to the most basic question. They also say that the students are the same way in their classes as they are in mine, and that they’ve heard nothing but positive things from the students, so that makes me rest a little easier.

I guess the long and short of it is that I continue to be very very happy here, and things actually seem to get better and better. I realize this is a new position, but I really am enjoying teaching. The days fly by, and it seems to really suit my personality. More updates to come.

XOXO
Tiffany

Confessions of a Waygook

I'm here!!  I'm actually in Seoul, South Korea, on the other side of the world and I still can't even believe it.  I have so much to say and not the vaguest idea of where to start.

OK, to begin, probably the most important question is whether or not I like it so far.  To which my response is YES.  I don't even have the words to begin to describe how happy I am to be here.  I seriously feel already that I am a completely different person than the one that boarded the plane in Minneapolis one week ago today.  So, speaking of the plane, I guess that's a good place to start. 

The flight was actually fantastic.  It was easier and seemed shorter than my flights to Europe, which is completely illogical as it's more than twice as long, but the fact that I had an entire row to myself probably helped.  Seriously, the airline gods were smiling upon me that day, clearly, because that NEVER happens.  So, the flight was easy, and for any of you that are coming to visit, I would highly recommend Singapore Air.  

Anyway, so I got here a day too early to go to orientation, so I had to fend for myself for the night.  All I will say about that experience is that it's a really good thing that people bow in this country a lot, because it seems like exactly the right thing to do when you are the epitome of a stupid foreigner that doesn't speak one syllable of the language.  Literally.  I had at least 3 conversations that consisted of a person trying to communicate something to me, me staring completely blankly back, and then them saying it again, this time with hand gestures, and me staring blankly back, and then them saying it again, with hand gestures and incredibly slowly, and me still staring blankly back, and then the person finally walking away.  So, yeah, the bow just seems really appropriate.  Like, with each bow (because I usually do it several times) I'm saying internally "yes, I know, I'm very stupid, thank you for your patience."  

Anyway, I'm not even sure how to describe Seoul.  I envisioned this place that was so densely populated that you couldn't even walk down the street without being shoulder to shoulder with people, and it's totally not like that.  There are definitely times when it gets that way, like, on the subway, but thus far the actual streets aren't like that at all.  I haven't gotten to go to too many neighborhoods just yet because our training schedule is incredibly intense, but our training facility is in the center of Seoul.  Anyway, I swear, this city was made with me in mind.  Everything is open all the time.  You're 5 steps away from bustling activity at any time no matter where you are, you can buy liquor at all hours of the day, there are street vendors every two steps, karaoke is central to the culture, and it's CHEAP.  Of the three neighborhoods I've been to, they all have a completely different vibe, which is so cool.  Hongdae is basically the college area of town, so it's got this incredible energy.  It's full of dance clubs and crowded bars, and it's really bright and colorful.  It reminds me of all the pictures you see of Seoul with the bright neon lights and everything.  Then Itaewon is basically the foreigner ghetto.  That's where you find all your Western stuff and English speakers and bars that have pool tables (!!!!) and Bombay Sapphire martinis **big smile**  But, without question, my 2 favorite things thus far are Noraebang and Soju!!  

Noraebang are karaoke rooms, and they are as ubiquitous to Korean culture as happy hour in the U.S.  BUT, a Noraebang is your own private room.  So, you gather up all your pals and go into this room, and sing all night long!  It's, like, my own personal heaven, made even greater by the fact that you bring your own alcohol.  Which brings us to Soju!  I had never heard of this before I came here, but it is this alcohol that tastes like water except a little crisper with maybe a hint of a minty flavor??  It's hard to describe, but it's DANGEROUS because it is incredibly strong, I think comparable to Everclear maybe? and yet so tasty!  So, you can get this stuff absolutely anywhere, including the convenience stores that are every 5 paces here, 24 hours a day, for the bargain price of 1000 won, which is equivalent to roughly $.90.  Yes, you read that right. It's less than a dollar a bottle.  So, clearly, this leads to drunkeness.  No problem!  Stumble out of the Noraebang, and fall head long into a street vendor, parading his wares of delicious street food that's also insanely cheap and delicious.  Heaven??  I think yes!

But what would the Noraebang be without a crew of friends!  I think this is what has made this experience so fantastic thus far.  First off, as you all know, I was feeling incredibly confused about the direction my life was taking prior to coming here.  I've always kind of felt like something was just missing, or, I don't even know what, and I feel like I have fallen headlong into this massive group of people that are exactly the same in that regard.  What's so great is that, everyone is so incredibly open-minded and accepting to begin with, and when you couple that with the fact that we all arrived in more or less the same boat as far as not knowing anyone, it has made every second of meeting people amazing.  Point being, for the first time in a long time, I feel like I'm exactly where I need to be, doing exactly what I need to do.  The clarity of it all is just so refreshing.  Also, it's this unbelievably diverse group of people.  There's something like 7 or 8 countries where English is the native language, and those countries are all very well represented.  I'm in training right now, so we're all in this big dorm, and it's just so awesome walking through the halls and hearing all the different accents and terminologies for things.  It's like, on top of learning Korean, we're learning all these different versions of English as well.  Also, there are a surprisingly large number of people here that are Korean American, and then of course white and black, too and other Asian ethnicities.  So, it's just, this sea of colors and accents.  It's just so cool and I've never had a comparable experience before now.  Also, with those different ethnicities, listening to peoples' stories about their upbringing is just so eye opening.  The cultures around the world are just incredibly different.  We stay up for hours just talking about our backgrounds, and I hang on every word. 

So, I really do get along with everybody, but my new close friends are the best ever!!  One of the first people I met here is Alicia and she and I just clicked right away, so I spend as much time with her as possible which is mostly at meals and after training.  She's from San Francisco, she's Korean but adopted, and she's hard to explain.  She's a writer and has this incredible style.  I guess she has a lot of traits of people from SF, but I've never been, so I don't know how to describe her other than to say she's awesome--incredibly generous and kind, unbelievably open-minded.  Then there's KK--his name is African so KK is the easiest form of his name.  He's from Uganda originally, but his dad is in the UN, so he's literally lived everywhere.  Josh is another Korean from Seattle who is just incredibly sweet and considerate, and also an incredibly good person to have around since he actually speaks the language.  Kahlid is this teddy bear of a black man from North Carolina who literally can't utter a sentence without everyone dying laughing.  And then there's Andryos, who you have to meet to believe he's for real.  He's from Brazil and the second I met him, I asked if he'd be offended if I called him Jersey since he looks like he stepped off a taping of Jersey shore.  Seriously.  Works out every day, wears skin tight clothing, gelled hair, does the fist pump, giant diamond studs in both ears.  The man wore head to toe skin tight denim yesterday.  I was afraid he was going to rip his sleeve if he tried to fist pump.  But he's awesome.  Super funny and nice.  And entertaining.  Clearly.  So, in this group, I am the minority.  I am the only caucasian which is both incredibly humbling and an entirely new experience. So, these are my closest friends, but there's quite a few others that I really like as well, and let's face it, we'll be here all night if I go into detail on all of them.

Anyway, the training has been brutal.  It's 12 hours every single day, so I'm feeling very disconnected from the  US right now since I haven't been able to really talk to anyone, but I think initially that's probably better anyway because you need to just throw yourself out there and immerse yourself in this new life.  I move in to my apartment on Wednesday and while I'm very excited to not feel like a transient anymore, I'll be pretty sad to not be surrounded by my fellow teachers anymore.

OK, there's so much more to say, but I'm getting really tired so I'll leave it at that for now.  I absolutely love it here and spend every single day excited for what is yet to come!

XOXO

Tiffany